Isis ([info]isiscolo) wrote in [info]ds_con_envy,

prompt #35: Diner (Ray/Ray) for [info]sionnain, by Isis

For [info]sionnain's prompt: "I did not say horror movies give me nightmares."
Ray/Ray, 1000 words exactly, PG.
Summary: Two tired middle-aged cops at the end of a rough day. Thanks to [info]mergatrude for beta.

The door swings open, and the Rays, Vecchio and Kowalski, slope into the diner, brushing the snow from their jackets, squinting in the sudden bright light. They stumble to a booth, plant their butts on the lurid red vinyl cushions. The waitress knows enough to bring over the coffee pot first thing.

"So," says Kowalski. He dumps sugar after sugar into his coffee mechanically, without looking, his fingers operating seemingly on their own: take a packet, rip the corner, tilt it in. Lather, rinse, repeat.

"So," echoes Vecchio.

It's been a rough day, a long day, a day that started with the shrill of a phone, taking a grim tour of dockyards and dead bodies and gray, frozen alleyways before spilling into the fluorescent glare of the diner where Ray and Ray are numbly staring into their cups. It was the kind of day that you wanted to be over, but you also didn't want to end without something else in it, something to break up the unrelenting misery. Which is why Kowalski suggested they get a cup of coffee, or something, which is why they are here.

Kowalski drinks half his coffee in one long gulp. He puts down his cup, laces his fingers behind his neck and stretches, rotating his shoulders and twisting his head, feeling things pop and crack. Vecchio's knee brushes his, and for a moment he imagines it's Dief under the table, that it's Fraser opposite him, a bulwark of red, serene despite the shitty day.

But that is Vecchio's balding head, reflecting the overhead glare, and Vecchio's skinny shoulders slumping under his coat. He's drinking his coffee slowly, carefully, like he's letting it seep through him bit by bit to push away the cold.

The waitress tops off their cups and asks if they want to order food, and they probably should eat something, but Vecchio shakes his head, and after a moment, so does Kowalski. She slaps down their ticket, and they look at it, but neither makes a move to take it.

Because when they finish their coffee, they will have to head out into the cold dark night alone, and Ray Kowalski does not care for that idea. He wants company. More than that: he wants that company to understand, to get it, to get him, to let Kowalski be Kowalski, because that's a luxury he had to do without for a long time, and he is damned if he's going to let it go again. If someone had said to him four months ago that he would want that company to be Vecchio, that skinny Italian Armani-wearing arrogant suave irritating Vecchio, well.

"We could go somewhere else to eat," he says.

"Nah. I'm not really hungry," says Vecchio.

"Yeah, me neither." A silence falls between them, thick and heavy as the snow outside the window.

Skinny, arrogant, irritating, yeah. But also: Vecchio gets him. Vecchio knows what he went through today, because Vecchio was there. And the other thing is that with Vecchio there, Kowalski doesn't have to be Vecchio any more. Kowalski can only be Kowalski. That's all that's left for him to be. So he doesn't have to hold onto it with both hands, not around Vecchio.

"Wanna see a movie?"

The question takes Vecchio by surprise. He puts down his cup. "A movie?"

"Yeah, I don't know." Kowalski shrugs, scratches the back of his neck. "I guess what made me think of it, when we were driving by the AMC on Illinois, they're showing The Mummy."

Vecchio raises an eyebrow. "I didn't figure you for a fan of classic film."

"Not the original. It's a remake." He'd read about it in the paper. What had caught his eye was the guy's name, the actor who was the star, his name was Fraser. Brendan Fraser, which was almost Benton Fraser, and it was probably stupid of him but he thought that maybe he'd like to see it, just for that. Not that he'd tell this to Vecchio. Stupid.

"Great. Some teenybopper splatter picture with buckets of fake blood. No thank you."

"Well, if horror movies give you nightmares—"

"I did not say horror movies give me nightmares. I just don't like them, that's all."

"Stella didn't like them either," he says, and watches Vecchio flinch a little at the name of their mutual ex-wife. It's not really a weapon, because it cuts him just as deeply; but it's weirdly satisfying, like picking a scab or poking a sore tooth. Like going to see a movie because there's a guy named Fraser in it, maybe.

For a moment he thinks Vecchio is going to slam the obvious backhand over the net right back at him. He sees Vecchio's lips start to form an F-for-Fraser. And then Vecchio sighs and sinks back into the red vinyl backrest. His head dips, his eyes fix on his coffee cup. Like he felt the weight of Fraser's name on his tongue and decided it was too heavy for him.

Fine, thinks Kowalski. F-for-fine, fucking fine, he is okay, he is not that lonely. He looks out the window. He finishes his cup of coffee, even the sugary sludge on the bottom. The cup makes a dull clack when he sets it down empty on the Formica tabletop.

"Yeah, well," he finally says. He fishes some bills from his wallet, slaps them on the table. "Guess I'll just head home and sit on the couch, have a brewski, see if anything good's on the tube."

Vecchio lifts his head and looks at him. His eyes are dark as the night outside. His mouth curves with the hint of a smile. "Sounds good," he says.

Vecchio's looking at him.

Vecchio's knee is brushing his leg again, and it doesn't feel like Dief. It feels like Vecchio.

Ray Kowalski exhales. Hesitantly he says, "You wanna?"

Ray Vecchio jerks his head toward the door. Toward Kowalski's apartment. Toward the night, swirling with snow. "Let's go," he says.

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 36 comments

[info]inathunderstorm

April 3 2009, 15:15:39 UTC 3 years ago

Oh, *very* nice. I really like the weight of their combined history, here, and how Fraser and Stella are such a part of them even when they're not there. A nice little angsty touch, and the atmosphere was really good, too--gritty, tired, and yet hopeful.

And of course;

Vecchio's knee is brushing his leg again, and it doesn't feel like Dief. It feels like Vecchio.

Ray Kowalski exhales. Hesitantly he says, "You wanna?"

Ray Vecchio jerks his head toward the door. Toward Kowalski's apartment. Toward the night, swirling with snow. "Let's go," he says.


YAY. Boys! ::beams:: I love them so.

::twirls you::

Thank you so much for my fic, yay!!! I <3 it!!!

[info]isiscolo

April 3 2009, 20:56:13 UTC 3 years ago

Yay, I am glad you liked it! For me, Ray/Ray is all about Fraser and Stella, even if it's not explicitly there it is there, you know? And yeah, "gritty" is exactly what I was going for.

[info]akite

April 3 2009, 15:26:10 UTC 3 years ago

*sigh* Oh, boys. Great story.

[info]isiscolo

April 3 2009, 20:56:33 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you kindly!

[info]wintercreek

April 3 2009, 16:21:26 UTC 3 years ago

Oh, I can feel how weary they are, and how they're always feeling their way past the ghosts of their pasts ... and yet here they are, together, on a snowy night. Lovely.

[info]isiscolo

April 3 2009, 20:57:19 UTC 3 years ago

Ooh, what a lovely way to put it - "feeling their way past the ghosts of their pasts" - because that, to me, encapsulates Ray/Ray. Thank you very much!

[info]waltzforanight

April 3 2009, 18:08:10 UTC 3 years ago

Oh, lovely! This was gorgeous.

[info]isiscolo

April 3 2009, 21:10:38 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you kindly!

[info]gloriana

April 3 2009, 19:52:04 UTC 3 years ago

Oh, I liked the ending of that very very much. Like Sionnain said, the weight of shared histories, the way they're both lonely for what has left them - but there's a real sense also, perhaps because the physical descriptions of place and emotion are so strong - that they are also looking at and understanding one another through what they've lost.

Very much liked the sense of Dief almost there, and then not. The play on the sense memory is also effective above, where you have RayK thinking but it's weirdly satisfying, like picking a scab or poking a sore tooth.

I just loved the ghosts hovering over this story. And how easily RayV finally cuts through them, when he wakes up.

[info]isiscolo

April 3 2009, 21:13:30 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you! I especially appreciate your comment about physical and emotional description, because that is actually a weak point for me and so I worked very hard to bring it to this story.

For me, Ray/Ray is all about the shared history of loss, and about connecting via their shared experiences and similarities. It is all full of ghosts!

[info]china_shop

April 3 2009, 21:23:46 UTC 3 years ago

Vecchio's knee brushes his, and for a moment he imagines it's Dief under the table, that it's Fraser opposite him, a bulwark of red, serene despite the shitty day.

Oh, owwwww! This is like a hundred little slivers of glass under the skin, all bleak and muted and gah! And yet somehow there's solace at the end. Thank god!

Vecchio's knee is brushing his leg again, and it doesn't feel like Dief. It feels like Vecchio.

Really beautiful. ♥

[info]isiscolo

April 3 2009, 22:31:26 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you! I know, angsty mcangst here, but as I think you once pointed out to me in beta, you can't get the Rays together without considering Fraser. (Well, I can't, anyway!)

[info]mizface

April 4 2009, 00:06:29 UTC 3 years ago

Oooh, I liked this. It had a real film noir feel to me, with the lovely descriptive bits and the weight of what wasn't being said hanging over everything (if that makes any sense). And the history between them just hurt (your scab reference was perfect), and I so felt for RayK, wanting to be near RayV because he could be himself without fighting for it.

Lots of great lines, many already quoted above, so I'll just say thank you for the great read.

[info]isiscolo

April 4 2009, 00:27:37 UTC 3 years ago

You win a prize for mentioning film noir. :-) Because I wrote this just after reading (and therefore under the influence of) Michael Chabon's noir-ish The Yiddish Policemen's Union. I even thought about titling it The Chicago Policemen's Union but decided that would only make sense to me! Thank you so much!

[info]meresy

April 4 2009, 00:30:57 UTC 3 years ago

Awesome.

[info]isiscolo

April 4 2009, 02:22:37 UTC 3 years ago

Thanks!

[info]keerawa

April 4 2009, 07:59:18 UTC 3 years ago

It's been a rough day, a long day, a day that started with the shrill of a phone, taking a grim tour of dockyards and dead bodies and gray, frozen alleyways before spilling into the fluorescent glare of the diner where Ray and Ray are numbly staring into their cups.
Oh, terrific description, it really evokes a gritty, hard-crime genre that pulls me away from the goofiness of Fraser's Chicago and into the harsh realities of Ray's. I'm glad they have each other, here.

[info]isiscolo

April 5 2009, 19:41:45 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you! And yes, I was going for the gritty noir feel, here, so I am glad it came across to you.

[info]0not_just_me0

April 5 2009, 15:03:42 UTC 3 years ago

Brilliant.
Like he felt the weight of Fraser's name on his tongue and decided it was too heavy for him.
Just totally bloody brilliant.

[info]isiscolo

April 5 2009, 19:42:18 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you very much! (And I really like that line, too!)

[info]primroseburrows

April 6 2009, 23:24:35 UTC 3 years ago

I like the harshness of the narrative here--the clack of a cup on a countertop, the flourescent lights and the quick brush of a knee, descriptions that capture the scene and make it very real. There's a biting melancholy, too, that's like a raw breeze and the acceptance of time marching on. Very nice!

[info]isiscolo

April 7 2009, 19:54:38 UTC 3 years ago

Thanks very much - descriptive detail is generally not my strong point, so I worked very hard on it and I am glad it came through to express the melancholy sense I was going for.

[info]luzula

April 7 2009, 07:04:49 UTC 3 years ago Edited:  April 7 2009, 10:38:12 UTC

Oh, I like the feel of that--all dark and gritty, like everyone else already said! And I like your Ray POV. They're both so tired, and I'm glad they can get a little comfort.

The icon that you're using above cracks me up (the one with the quote). *g*

Also, I can't read the phrase "slope into..." without thinking of the Paul Simon song Crazy Love, Vol. II (the one that starts with "Fat Charlie the Archangel sloped into the room").

[info]isiscolo

April 7 2009, 19:57:02 UTC 3 years ago

Thanks very much!

The icon is one of a set that were made from [info]mina_de_malfois quotes. It amuses me to use it in response to feedback!

Also, I can't read the phrase "slope into..." without thinking of the Paul Simon song Crazy Love, Vol. II (the one that starts with "Fat Charlie the Archangel sloped into the room").

I have no opinion about that... :-) Paul, don't sue me for plagiarism!

[info]ningengirai

April 7 2009, 08:08:04 UTC 3 years ago

*purrs* I like the raw-rough feeling of this story; you can literally feel the fatigue of these two. And then this: Vecchio lifts his head and looks at him. His eyes are dark as the night outside. Mmmmmm.

[info]isiscolo

April 7 2009, 19:57:27 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you kindly!

[info]mlyn

April 10 2009, 04:56:16 UTC 3 years ago

Wow, hon. This is really rich with emotion and imagery. Absolutely great job!

[info]isiscolo

April 10 2009, 14:26:21 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you so much!

[info]catwalksalone

April 13 2009, 15:31:24 UTC 3 years ago

Oh, yes. There was such a realistic, grinding feel to this with that sliver of sunshine at the end in Vecchio's smile. I really enjoyed this.

[info]isiscolo

April 13 2009, 19:22:51 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you!

[info]julia_here

June 6 2009, 00:51:37 UTC 2 years ago

I read, loved, didn't comment (there's been a lot of that going on with me lately, sorry).

So, I just recommended this story at [info]crack_van

Julia, not prompt, but thorough.

[info]isiscolo

June 6 2009, 01:15:32 UTC 2 years ago

Oh, thank you so very much, both for the rec and for commenting to let me know you liked it!

[info]cosmogonic

June 9 2009, 20:28:18 UTC 2 years ago

Here via Julia's rec, and the texture you nailed with this one is just awesome. Worn around the edges and stare-eyed from ugliness and toil and lack of sleep. Gave me such a sense of gratitude and peace at the end. Thank you.

[info]isiscolo

June 9 2009, 23:56:35 UTC 2 years ago

Oh, thank you so much! That's exactly the feel I was going for.

[info]annieroo2

November 13 2009, 14:21:33 UTC 2 years ago

I could feel the exhaustion dripping from these guys. And how every topic seemed fraught with disaster. The ending was lovely and though not a forgone conclusion they'd get there, it felt right. :)

[info]isiscolo

November 27 2009, 18:43:21 UTC 2 years ago

Thanks so much - I really worked on making the sense of weariness come through, so I'm delighted you noticed that.
Create an Account
Forgot your login or password?
Facebook Twitter More login options
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…